When was the Last Time

from somewhere far from here by Ellen Dyer

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lyrics

when was the last time
you said your own name
out loud just to hear it?

when did I start saying your name
to my own face
in the mirror?

and try hard as I might
I just couldn't seem to find
what I was looking for
what was I looking for?

we were so young with little
mismatched minds
with eyes that transcribe the why's
of the world we're living in
you don't understand
but to me, you called yourself a man
how could you understand?

can't you see
I'm not the girl we both
thought me to be?
now I know
sometimes it takes a
little while to grow

out of habits
we're accustomed to
like I still wake up
loving you

and the last thing on my mind
when I'm in my head at night
is the feeling of your body
and its breathing next to mine
some feelings
get left behind

can't you see
I'm not the girl you
wanted me to be
people change
and sometimes lives aren't
ours to rearrange

we were as close as
the skin between us
but if suddenly,
you can't remember me,
open the window and
follow your memory of me
to the only place I know
where you really loved me
but did you ever really love me?

now I see
I'm not the little girl I used to be
it's hard to realize
when you're staring face to face with the Last Time

when was the last time
you said your own name out loud?

credits

from somewhere far from here, released June 29, 2019
Ellen Dyer

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ellen dyer Albuquerque, New Mexico

a goon and a guitar

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