1. |
You'll be Okay
02:12
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stuck in spiral
watch as the days dissolve
into a grainy nighttime,
but you'd wait a little longer
for the shadow of dark
to count every star,
every piece of your heart
he cast the cosmos onto your skin,
marked you with life
before you could begin
you'll be alright, you'll be okay
just know that much ain't here to stay
he left your throat raw
with the homesick
for a place you didn't
even know could exist
'cause you built him up
into someone he was not,
made a house from his words
and a home in his heart
you'll be alright, you'll be okay
just know that much ain't here to stay
and it's not the fact that you love him
it's a matter of your talks
ending in brittle phonetics
I stretched out sentences
for more than they were worth,
tried to coax a little meaning
into each little word
and I told him that I loved him
but the phrasing was blurred,
so you said it again but you
don't know if he heard
you'll be alright, you'll be okay
just know that much ain't here to stay
one day you'll wake up
and realize
you can't recall his steady gaze
or the gleam of his eye
because there's none of him here
in the tomes of his voice,
all his words have burned out
they ran their course
just gotta keep on living
then live a little more
you'll be alright, you'll be okay
just know that much ain't here to stay
we knew it from the start
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2. |
By the Bay
02:52
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I once knew a girl
whose name I had not heard before
I was once a child
I haven't been that way in a while
and I think of you
and all the things that we used to do
together in the past,
but now I'm having trouble finding my way back
to where we stood by the water
it's not much farther, it's not much farther...
than climbing trees and bridges of sand
maps that we drew on the backs of our hands
we follow what's said and done
I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of anyone
as long as we're by the water
it's so much harder, it's so much harder
to hear now that you're gone
when we were a part of everyone
and now, I have to go
I cannot stay here anymore
but my heart will remain by the water
it's so much lighter, it's so much lighter
than it was, and now I'm here
I'm still a girl whose name I've heard before
in my life
and now I'm just trying
to get it right
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3. |
When was the Last Time
03:45
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when was the last time
you said your own name
out loud just to hear it?
when did I start saying your name
to my own face
in the mirror?
and try hard as I might
I just couldn't seem to find
what I was looking for
what was I looking for?
we were so young with little
mismatched minds
with eyes that transcribe the why's
of the world we're living in
you don't understand
but to me, you called yourself a man
how could you understand?
can't you see
I'm not the girl we both
thought me to be?
now I know
sometimes it takes a
little while to grow
out of habits
we're accustomed to
like I still wake up
loving you
and the last thing on my mind
when I'm in my head at night
is the feeling of your body
and its breathing next to mine
some feelings
get left behind
can't you see
I'm not the girl you
wanted me to be
people change
and sometimes lives aren't
ours to rearrange
we were as close as
the skin between us
but if suddenly,
you can't remember me,
open the window and
follow your memory of me
to the only place I know
where you really loved me
but did you ever really love me?
now I see
I'm not the little girl I used to be
it's hard to realize
when you're staring face to face with the Last Time
when was the last time
you said your own name out loud?
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4. |
Song for Annika
01:36
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please let me
in, don't let the
darkness win
your fragile heart
please, come out
of yourself, leave
that personal hell,
this is a brand new start
you were only
eighteen, so young
and too naive to know
you'd fall so hard
you built walls to keep them
out, and now you're starting to
doubt they weren't made
to keep you in
and you feel like you're
trapped, but I'm coming
back to you; I'll
set you free
and yet sometimes you'll feel
alone, but I've found a
home in your heart; I'm
never far
so please let me
in, and we can
begin again
with our new hearts
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5. |
If I
02:31
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If I could rearrange the lines
would I?
If I could read the signs
would I pick up on your words in time?
by the light of the moon
through my window
while I'm bust counting stars
and the pieces of my heart
I foster a soft spot in my night
for you
you, with your hands
that loved to hold
how could I have know
they're only used to letting go?
you held the skyline in your eyes
when you peeled back my ribs
to see what was inside
used your gilded tongue
to whisper silver dreams
inside of me
if I could discern the words
transversing the truth
what would that make of you?
teeming at the edge of
seeing, I find
there is no place for us
in this world of mine
but if I could rearrange the lines
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6. |
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will you sway with me under
manzanita trees?
did you ever see a thing
as lovely as we?
thawing hearts are
such a tender thing
but loving you feels
like the first day of spring.
come lay underneath the
sleeping sky with me;
pull your body close against
the stark december freeze
counting stars and fingers
to ten
loving you feels like
the birds will sing again
clouds linger on from
the darkness of my past; but
you cast the storm out with
light unsurpassed
the sun's out at last
find some wildflowers
to lay our pretty heads
skipping stones and heartbeats
along the creekbed
catching salamanders
by the stream
loving you makes
my heart want to sing
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7. |
Bird's Eye
02:33
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little girl
in a concrete world
has a stomach
filled with stones
with skin like armor
to ward off the night,
she goes to places
no one knows
she can turn herself into
shadow, to slip
between the wakes
and the catacombs
counting the bodies
swaying in the dark,
the girl with the
rubber soul
has trained herself
to wither to smoke
at the touch of the
velvet hand
and the nightmares of her sleep,
tricksters of keepsakes
bleed into the palms
of her hands
every scar is a letter
written from the past,
sordid lines
marking the days
crushed little girl
crumbling in their hands
she is glass with an
instinct to shatter
and now she's looking at the world
through the eyes of a bird
little girl, you are
infinite matter
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8. |
Gray June Morning
03:14
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morning rises as I slip
the coffee stale on my lips
last night's smoke can't keep me warm
making ashes of our home
but I hope where you're goin
you still see the break of dawn
pierce the sky of gray june morning
somewhere far from here
riding nowhere 'long the road
the world beyond us stretches on
california's shapes and forms
manifesting as I'm born
if you get what I'm about
you will see with no doubt
the magic of gray june morning
somewhere far from here
made an orphan of herself
forsaken life don't treat you well
but wandering's all I've ever known
you can't abandon what is gone
if you find that I'm gone
please don't wait for me too long
and trust the sky of gray june morning
somewhere far from here
in nights turned shorter than the days
we will come to find our ways
in the days that yet to come
I'm finding somewhere of my own
if you hear this singing song
you will know that I've gone
to greet the light of gray june morning
somewhere far from here
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9. |
Until Forever
02:58
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my love for you is something
visceral, innate;
instinct, like the repertoire of birdsong
playing from our record so late
the first time you heard me sing
you said I had perfect tune
and like the harmonies in music, when I saw you
I somehow always knew
why does it feel like I've known you my whole life?
why is it still so hard to say goodnight?
sometimes I feel I'm just biding my time
until forever with you
the way you look at me, I hear your reflection
like raindrops in a jar
and the phosphorescent skin above your eyelids
is glowing blue like stars
I've spent my whole life trying to hide
with you I'm not scared to face what's inside
I was too busy wasting my time
until forever with you
Carolina in my mind
to keep us apart
I'll still be singing songs for you
no matter how far
I like the way you smile
when I press you to my lips
I can't seem to name this feeling
back home, they call it bliss
I don't know enough words to tell you
exactly how I feel;
I just hope the words unspoken
show my love is real
please hurry home to me after you're gone
and we'll be together, singing our songs
home is the place where I'm wrapped in your arms
until forever with you
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ellen dyer Albuquerque, New Mexico
a goon and a guitar
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